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The tiger and the gold for $150

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The tiger and the gold

AS THE STORY START
STAGE ONE ' A schoolteacher is teaching a class the times table when Queen walks past carrying a pail of water on her head. The teacher peers out of the window and disappears. Two 11-year-old schoolboys start ogling her, so he hits them on the head and leaves to confront her. At this point, we find out that the schoolteacher is Tosin. He is described as wearing a threadbare and rumpled clean English suit that is a little too small for him. He wears a tie that disappears beneath his waistcoat. His trousers are ridiculously oversized, and his shoes are blanco-white. He comes out and insists on taking the pail from Queen. She refuses, saying that she would look silly. Tosin retorts, saying that he told her not to carry loads on her head or her neck may be shortened. He also tells her not to expose so much of her cleavage with the cloth she wears around her breasts. Queen says that it is too inconvenient for her to do so. She scolds him, saying that the village thinks he's stupid, but Tosin says that he is not so easily cowed by taunts. Tosin also insults her, saying that her brain is smaller than his. He claims that his books say so. Queen is angry.When they are done arguing, Queen wants to leave, but Tosin tells her of his love for her. Queen says that she does not care for his love. Eventually, we find out that Queen does not want to marry him because Tosin refuses to pay her bride-price as he thinks it an uncivilised, outrageous custom. Queen tells him that if she did so, people will jeer at her, saying that she is not a virgin. Tosin further professes how he wants to marry her and treat her "just like the Lagos couples I have seen".Queen does not care. She also says that she finds the Western custom of kissing repulsive. She tells him that not paying her pride price is mean and miserly.Enter the village girls. They decide to play "the dance of the Lost Traveller" featuring the sudden arrival of a photographer in their midst some time ago. They tease the traveller in the play, calling his motorbike "the devil's own horse" and the camera that he used to take pictures "the one-eyed box". Four girls dance the "devil-horse", a youth is selected to play the snake and Tosin becomes the Traveller. He seeks to be excused to teach Primary Four Geography but Queen informs him that the village is on holiday due to the arrival of the photographer/traveler.

We also find out that the photographer made a picture book about the village based on the photos he took. There is a picture of Queen on the front page, and a two-page spread of her somewhere inside. Isack is featured too, but he "is in a little corner somewhere in the book, and even that corner he shares with one of the village latrines". They banter about for a while, Tosin gave in and participated because he couldn't tolerate being taunted by them.

The Dance of the Lost Traveller
The four girls crouch on the ground, forming the wheels of the car. Tosin adjusts their position and sits in air in the middle. He pretends to drive the "car". The four wheels rotate their upper halves of their bodies parallel to the ground in tune with the beat of the drum. The drum beat speeds up to a final crash. The girls dance the stall. They shudder, and drop their faces onto their laps. He pretends to try to restart the "car". He gets out and checks the "wheels" and also pinches them. He tries to start the "car", fails and takes his things for a trek.

He hears a girl singing, but attributes it to sunstroke, so he throws the bottle that he was drinking from in that general direction. He hears a scream and a torrent of abuse. He takes a closer look and sees a girl (played by Queen). He tries to take photos, but falls down into the stream.

The cast assembles behind him, pretending to be villagers in an ugly mood hauling him to the odan tree in the town centre. Then Isack appears and the play stops. He talks to Tosin for a while, saying that he knew how the play went and was waiting for the right time to step in. He drops subtle hints of an existing feud between him and Tosin, then makes the play continue. The villagers once again start thirsting for his blood. He is hauled before Isack, thrown on his face. He tries to explain his plight. Isack seems to understand and orders a feast in Tosin's honour. Tosin takes the opportunity to take more photos of Queen. He is also pressed to drink lots of alcohol, and at the end of the play, he is close to vomiting.

The play ends. Queen praises him for his performance. Tosin runs away, followed by a flock of women. Isack and the wrestler sit alone. Isack takes out his book, and muses that it has been five full months since he last took a wife.
STAGE TWO
Queen is at a road near the marketplace. Tosin follows her, carrying the firewood that Queen asks him to help her get. She admires the pictures of her in the magazine. Then John appears, wearing a shawl over her head. She informs her that the Lion (Isack) wishes to take her as a wife. Tosin is outraged, but Queen stops him. Tosin changes tactics, telling her as his lover to ignore the message. John took that as a yes, but Queen dashed her hopes, saying that since her fame had spread to Lagos and the rest of the world, she deserves more than that. John presses on, dissembling that Isack has sworn not to take any more wives after her and that she would be his favourite and would get many privileges, including being able to sleep in the palace rather than one of the outhouses. As Isack's last wife, she would also be able to become the first, and thus head wife, of his successor, in the same way that John was Isack's head wife. However, Queen sees through her lies, and tells her that she knew that he just wanted fame "as the one man who has possessed 'the jewel of Ilujinle'". John is flabbergasted and wants to kill Tosin for what he has done for her.

Queen shows the magazine. She says that in the picture, she looks absolutely beautiful while he simply looks like a ragged, blackened piece of saddle leather: she is youthful but he is spent. John changes techniques, saying that if Queen does not want to be his wife, will she be kind enough to attend a small feast in her honour at his house that STAGE THREE. Queen refuses, saying that she knows that every woman who has eaten supper with him eventually becomes his wife. Tosin interjects, informing them that Isack was known for his wiliness, particularly when he managed to foil the Public Works attempt to build a railroad through Ilujinle. Isack bribed the surveyor for the route to move the railroad much farther away as "the earth is most unsuitable, could not possibly support the weight of a railway engine". Tosin is distraught, as he thinks just how close Ilujinle was to civilisation at that time.

The scene cuts to Isack's bedroom. Aminat is plucking his armpit hairs. There is a strange machine with a long lever at the side. It is covered with animal skins and rugs. Isack mentions that she is too soft with her pulls. Then he tells her that he plans to take a new wife, but that he would let her be the "sole out-puller of my sweat-bathed hairs". She is angry, and deliberately plucks the next few hairs a lot harder. John enters. He shoos Aminat away, lamenting about his bleeding armpit.

John informs him that she failed to woo Queen. She told her that Queen flatly refused her order, claiming that he was far too old. Isack pretends to doubt his manliness and asks John to massage the soles of his feet. John complies. He lies to her that his manhood ended a week ago, specifically warning her not to tell anyone. He comments that he is only 62. Compared to him, his grandfather had fathered two sons late on 65 and Okiki, his father, produced a pair of female twins at 67. Finally Isack falls asleep.
STAGE THREE

Queen is at the village center, by the schoolroom window. Enter John, who is carrying a bundle. She sets down a figure by the tree. She gloats, saying that she has managed to be the undoing (making him impotent) of Isack, and of his father, Okiki, before that. Queen is amazed at what she initially perceives to be John going mad. She shuts the window and exits, shocking John. After a pause, John resumes her victory dance and even asks Queen to join in. Then Tosin enters. He scorns them, saying: "The full moon is not yet, but the women cannot wait. They must go mad without it." Queen and John stop dancing. They talk for a while. As they are about to resume dancing, Queen states her plans to visit Isack for his feast and toy with him. Tosin tries in vain to stop her, telling her that if her deception were to be discovered she would be beaten up. Queen leaves. Tosin and John converse. Tosin states his grand plans to modernize the area by abolishing the bride-price, building a motor-road through the town and bring city ways to isolated Ilujinle. He goes on to spurn her, calling her a bride-collector for Isack.

The scene is now Isack's bedroom. Isack is arm-wrestling the wrestler seen earlier. He is surprise that she managed to enter unchallenged. Then he suddenly remembers that that day was the designated day off for the servants. He laments that Tosin had made his servants form an entity called the Palace Workers' Union. He asks if Aminat was at her usual place, and was disappointed to find out that she had not left him yet despite scolding her severely. Then Queen mentions that she was here for the supper. Queen starts playing around with Isack. She asks him what was up between him and Aminat. He is annoyed. Changing the subject, Queen says that she thinks Isack will win the ongoing arm-wrestling match. Isack responds humbly, complimenting the strength and ability of the wrestler. She slowly teases Isack, asking if he was planning to take a wife. She draws an example, asking if he was her father, would he let her marry a person like him?

Queen takes this opportunity to slightly tease him, and is rewarded by his violent reaction by taking the wrestler and slinging him over his shoulder. The wrestler quickly recovers and a new match begins again. The discussion continues. Isack is hurt by the parallels and subtle hints about his nature dropped by Queen. Queen even taunts him, saying that he has failed to produce any children for the last two years. Eventually he is so angered that he slams the wrestler's arm down on the table, winning the match. He tells the defeated wrestler to get the fresh gourd by the door. In the meantime, Isack tries to paint himself as a grumpy old man with few chances to show his kindliness. The wrestler returns. Isack continues with his self-glorification. Then he shows her the now-familiar magazine and an addressed envelope. He shows her a stamp, featuring her likeness, and tells her that her picture would adorn the official stamp of the village. The machine at the side of his room is also revealed to be a machine to produce stamps. As she admires the pictures of her in the magazine, Isack happens to mention that he does not hate progress, only its nature which made "all roofs and faces look the same". He continues praising Queen's looks, appealing to her.

The scene cuts back to the village centre, where Tosin is pacing in frustration. He is mad at John for tricking her to go see Isack, and at the same time concerned that Isack will harm or imprison her. Some mummers arrive. John remains calm, despite Tosin's growing stress. John steals a coin from Tosin to pay the mummers. In return, the mummers drum her praises, but John claims that Tosin was the real benefactor. Then they dance the Isack story, showing him at his prime and his eventual downfall. Tosin is pleased by the parts where they mock Isack. John mentions that she used to be known as John of the duiker's feet because she could twist and untwist her waist with the smoothness of a water snake.

Queen appears. She is distraught. Tosin is outraged, and plans to bring the case to court. Queen reveals that Isack only told her at the end that it was a trap. Isack said that he knew that John would not keep it to herself, and go out and mock his pride. Tosin is overcome with emotion, and after at first expressing deep despair, he offers to marry her instead, with no bride-price since she is not a virgin after all. Tosin is pleased that things have gone as he hoped. John tells him that Queen is preparing for a wedding. Tosin is very happy, saying he needs a day or two to get things ready for a proper Christian wedding. Then musicians appear. Queen appears, bearing a gift. She tells Tosin that he is invited to her wedding. Tosin hopes that the wedding will be between Queen and himself and her, but she informs her that she has no intention of marrying him, but rather will marry Isack. Tosin is stunned. Queen says that between Isack and him, at sixty, Isack is still full of life but Tosin would be probably "ten years dead". John then gives Queen her blessing. The marriage ceremony continues. A young girl taunts Tosin, and he gives chase. John gets in his way. He frees himself and clears a space in the crowd for them both to dance.The drama ends


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